Author: Gary Kessler

Gary’s post: A beautiful Sunday morning in New Mexico. Colder that a brass toilet seat on the north side of a glacier! Front moved through and it 17 degrees this morning. Brrrrrrr.

This morning is our ritual breakfast with Wendy’s brother, Rick. I really like doing this as it gets him out of the house, and we spend time together. Ever since his wife died in 2021 from COVID, he’s been on a downhill spiral. Grief is such a crazy thing as it manifests so differently for people.

For me, after my first wife committed suicide, it was all about making sure my kids were okay and getting them to move on, then I could take the time to grieve. But had to keep moving as I had kids and a life that I needed to keep together and a wonderful friend, Louise, that keep me sane. It’s funny how people always assume that a relationship between a man and a woman always involves sex. My friendship with Louise has always been and will always be a deep plutonic friendship. Outside of my wife, Wendy, she continues to be one of my best friends and closest confidants. Personally, I relate to women better than men. Maybe it’s because I find the competitiveness of men a waste of time and energy unless there’s a specific goal. I’ve never had close male friends in my adult life – just men that I talk to but don’t have a strong drive to hang out with. Enough physiology.

Yesterday we had the house corners staked and now we can see where the house if going to be. Unfortunately, where we have the RV placed now isn’t going to work. It’s too close to the house and I can’t get the truck in to hook up and move it. The worst part is that by moving it to a new location means that Wendy is right, and I really despise situations when that happens. That’s the one part of her personality that irritates is the need to gloat about being right. Really irritating and it irritates the kids too. I’ve learned to ignore it and just let it happen because it’s such an ingrained trait in her from her childhood. It’s really hard to change life-long habits. Okay, again, enough self-analysis…. Lordy.

So back on topic. We’ll need to gravel the pad where we’re going to move the RV. It’ll keep the mud down when we spill water or empty the freshwater tanks for cleaning. Also keeps the dust down. I think we’ll move it to the back corner where the Sandhill Cranes are. That will be noisy, but fun to watch them from the RV. It’ll also be better for the holding tank installation. It’ll cost some $$ to get a 50-amp circuit run out there and water, but I think I’ll do that while the house is being built. I can run a long extension cord and heat tape fresh water to the trailer to keep the fresh water from freezing.

I’ll get a couple of loads of gravel delivered this week, spread it with my Father-in-law’s tractor and put down some ground sanitizer to keep the weeds from growing. That will put the trailer in a nice location, easy to move when we want to go camping and all the necessary amenities in case someone wants to stay in the trailer instead of the house. We can keep it plugged in, sorta heated with electricity and cover it when it’s not in use. Of course I’ll have to wash it to get the dirt off, but that’ll keep the trailer cleaner last longer.

Well, today will be sorting through the workshop. We need to find the rest of Jaret’s stuff and get it out of the workshop. I have to create enough room to set up my computer to do taxes and some drone work. And we need to find a space for a wine cooler for the 300 bottles of wine we transported here. We’ll put them in my brother-in-laws house until we get a wine cooler. I need to get that done before the weather gets too hot and spoils the wine. The workshop isn’t insulated – which is another project.

Time to get ready for our breakfast. And I have to hit the ATM before we get there. Have a wonderful Sunday everyone. Take care.

Gary’s post: Today it gets real. The surveyors are coming out this morning to pin the edges of the building pad. This is the first step in building the house. Exciting, worrisome and sad are the best emotions I can explain. It’s exciting because this will be our forever home, built the way we want it. Worrisome because it won’t be cheap and the tumultuous nature of our government and economy worries me that we’ll exceed budget. Sad because it means we’re a long way from the grandkids and we won’t be engaged in their lives. Before we were close but not engaged, now if and when they visit at least it will be quality time and focused on them.

Probably won’t get much done today with the workshop, weather won’t be supportive with more wind and rain. Hoping tomorrow will be better so we can get through the rest of the workshop and get it more organized. Thinking it’s time to clean the RV and do dust remediation. All the wind and blowing dust has infiltrated the RV so there’s a fine layer of dust everywhere. With all the wind, it’s been interesting to see the patterns. I ordered a home weather station that will show wind direction and solar intensity. That will help us this spring when we start planting wind breaks on the property. With the water table being so close to the surface, the soil is pretty moist once you’re down 6 inches. Trees should do pretty well. I know the weeds love it…..

Today will be spent working on taxes and doing some grocery shopping. Feels like we’re starting to get into a routine. Still a lot to do to get things in order. At night it’s so dark, I need to get motion lights on the workshop. Funny thing is that the moonlight is so bright, you almost don’t need lighting unless you have a lot of cloud cover.

Well, it’s the weekend, so this will be a short post. Had a wonderful Valentines Day with Wendy. We did drink a bit too much sparkling wine which make for a slow morning! Couple of cups of coffee and some food and I think I’ll be good. Off to get dressed and ready for the day. Lots to do!!

Gary’s post: A morning post this morning! Love the sunrises and sunsets here. Finally, our youngest is leaving the nest. He’s been living with his sister for the last few months and I’m sure she’s happy to get back to normal. Jaret will be leaving next weekend for Utah and his wildland fire fighter training. He’ll be stationed in Fillmore, Utah which is south of Provo on Interstate 15. No great way to get there from Albuquerque. It’s exciting to see that he’ll finally be doing something he’s passionate about. Hopefully he can establish himself there, get his dog with him and become independent. Really looking forward to how that turns out and hoping he stays safe in a dangerous profession. I’m sure he’ll have lots of stories to tell.

Met with our contractor last night. Building our house is getting real. We talked through the initial activities that we needed to get accomplished this month, kicking off groundbreaking. I’m sure our neighbors to the south aren’t going to be happy as they were unhappy,

they didn’t get a chance to buy the property. Dennis, my wife’s cousin through marriage, was pissed off that they intervened in the zoning discussion. He was adamant that this property stays in the family, which was our agreement when we bought it. Anyway, we’re hoping to see a backhoe in two weeks and start building up the building pad.

Today will be another day of crazy spring weather. Storm blowing through from the west, so lots of wind, dust and more cold gusts. I really need to put skirting on the RV to help with the cold and make the trailer more efficient. We’re supposed to get snow this weekend which will make organizing the workshop more complicated and messier. Weather should cooperate on Sunday. Gotta love the wind, it does mild rocking of the trailer. Thank goodness for the X-Braces, they keep the trailer pretty stable.

Well, enough for this morning. I need to work out cashflow for all the $$ going out the door in the next two weeks. And then the money coming in from overpayment and house closing. Gotta pay for plumbers, septic, electrician and of course, Wendy’s new EV. And I need to redo our insurance. Thinking it’s time to switch to USAA for a while.

Oh, and it looks like I may go to part-time in April instead of retiring completely. That could be a good thing while we build the house. I need to think about that and its impact on my mental health and well- being. More on that later.

If you’re reading this blog, have a great weekend and enjoy the people around you and the time you spend with them. Time is fleeting and is the most precious thing we can share with our loved ones.

Gary’s post: Super late post today. It’s afternoon already. I missed my morning posting time because there was so much going on. Yesterday sucked. Super windy, which is the New Mexico version of Seattle rain. It was so windy that you couldn’t go outside with eating dirt. Nasty.

Today has been pretty chill. Valentines’ day has me bummed out. I haven’t had time to do anything for my wonderful wife. I may just make her a nice trailer dinner, some sparkling wine and a movie. It’d be nice to just spend some quality time with her. The last few weeks, I’ve been locked to the trailer because of meetings with contractors, so it’s been a bit lonely. And I can’t get to any of my toys in the workshop because it’s filled with our stuff. Spending some quality time with my wife – high on my list.

I’ve been working with our general contractor to figure out how high we need to build the pad for the house. The reason this is important is because we want the house to be out of the Rio Grande 100-year flood plain. And we want to be able to build out a gravity fed septic system. Above ground systems are unsightly, expensive and complex because they have to have a pump. Currently the ground level 4842′ above sea level. Flood plain is 4843, so ground level is just below flood plain. Code requires that the base of the first floor is 12″ above flood plain. Doing the math, that indicates the dirt building pad has to be at least 2′ to meet code and be out of the flood plain. So, we’ll go 2’6″ to be safe. And that means that the stub out for the drain field will be 2′ below ground level, so the septic tank will end up being right at ground level to adhere to code. The issue is the water table, it’s at 6′, so they need to have the bottom of the septic 2′ above the water table. Who know you needed all this math to install a septic tank!!

We’re hopefully meeting with our GC tonight to lay out budgets and timelines for the house build. Once we get that done, then I can get the finances aligned. Tomorrow I’ll run a check over for the balance of the fence. And the real fun will be at my MVD appointment when I get to register my truck here in NM. Hopefully, no big deal. I’ve been doing insurance shopping, and I think we’re going to change things up a bit and try USAA for a while. They are about $120/month cheaper than the nearest quote I can get from my broker.

My youngest, Jaret, is in panic mode. He heads out to Utah in two weeks assuming that Trump doesn’t kill budget or headcount for firefighters. Right now, things seem to be moving forward, so fingers crossed. I think he’ll stop by here for a week to sort out his belongings, drop of his dog and then head to Utah. I’m not excited about two dogs, but his dog is a big lover, so things will be fine. We have LOTS of room for them to run. Just not sure where everyone will sleep – I may be sleeping in the truck!

Clouds are starting to move in, which means a change in the weather, again. We’re supposed to get another storm front tomorrow and maybe some rain! Gotta love the mud. The snowpack is terrible this year and there’s a worry that the Rio Grande will run dry this year because of no snow – unlike last year. Hopefully we’ll see some rain and it’d be fun to have some snow, especially on the cactus plants!

I was just musing about how people here call this area the valley. It’s a valley that’s at 4300 feet. When I lived here that last time, our house was at 6700 feet in the Albuquerque foothills. The Sandia Mountains are at 8700 feet. We’re pretty high up in our “valley” considering that our house in Renton was at 475 feet in the Renton “Highlands”. It’s high desert for sure with the 40-50 degree temperature swings. I’m thinking I’m going to get a home weather station that measures UV intensity. That could be interesting. Rainfall isn’t a big deal as it almost never rains except during monsoon season. Sunlight, wind and temperature are the key metrics for weather here. More toys.

Alright, it’s time to feed the dog. He’s pacing around and watching me from the couch.

To anyone reading this – have a wonderful evening!

Gary’s post: Crazy Spring weather yesterday. Had to capture the sunset last night as it looked like a firestorm in the sky. Typical NM winds so lots of dust in the air. Always crazy when a front moves through.

Today is fun, weather got cold, but my gate guys are here.

Harp went crazy until I let him out to meet everyone. I love the Bobcat, it drills the post hole in no time and makes setting posts really easy. I think this gate is going to be worth every penny. Now if I could just get the septic guys out here to install a holding tank, life would be soooo much simpler.

Plumbers were out yesterday. We’ll get well water installed next week. I’m using the plumbers that will do the plumbing for the house. That should make things a lot easier as they will set up the plumbing for the house and the RV. And they know the septic contractor, so that makes things a bit easier.

Today will be doing work that pays the bills, getting new insurance set up for the cars, RV and property. I’ll need some construction insurance while the house is being built. After we need with our general contractor, I should know everything I need to get done before we start the dirt work next week. I did pay our architect a deposit on the panels for the house – so things are getting real. And money is flying out the door!!

I think Wendy is excited for her new commute car. We’re hoping to see it in a couple of weeks. I’m not excited about having a lease payment for a while, but that’s the only way we can get the tax discounts assuming they are still in effect.

Alright, need to get going as I’m posting pretty late today. I have laundry going at my Brother-in-laws place, need to eat some food and make another cup of coffee. I’ll post more as things keep moving forward.

Take care and enjoy your day!

Gary’s post: I really need to get a better camera for taking these pictures. While I like my Oneplus 12, the camera is pretty weak. It really fails on capturing the intensity of the reds and yellows in this picture. I’m going to have to figure out the settings so that the pictures do justice to the reality.

Another winter day in New Mexico. Today the weather is going to change up and get colder again. That’s actually a good thing as the bugs and weeds have started to come out. Tomorrow is back to the low 20’s at night, which should kill the critters. Then some rain and snow over the next few days – which will create some fun MUD!!! Thank goodness I have a carwash membership – it’ll get used.

Going to put a deposit down on the house panels with our architect. And the dog gets a bath today from the groomers!! You know it’s bad when you pet him and can see a dust halo around him. Should make him more comfortable too. He’s been scratching a lot lately. I really need to find a good vet for him and get him his booster shots.

Finally got a plumber committed to get water run to the trailer next week. Now it’s getting a holding tank put in and trailer life should be a bit better. The propane people will be here this week to refill the propane tank, so we won’t freeze. Trailer living takes a lot to get used to. All the comforts of living in a house are NOT available. And the appliances are pretty basic, which makes sense for a trailer. Last night we accidentally left the gas stove on. Could have been a disaster, but fortunately it only acted as a supplement to the furnace. It’s just the simple things. With the bigger propane container, I move the water heater off electric to propane, it recovers faster.

Living on our property is such a different experience than our Renton house. It’s so much quieter, no people (which isn’t great), and the sounds of roosters, ducks and cows remind me of my childhood in Oregon on my grandparents’ farm. Even the occasional train, which they had running across the back of their property is reminiscent of my childhood experiences. Maybe that’s part of the reason I felt we should move here. To recreate some of my childhood for my kids and grandkids. I think children need to understand their role in life and how they contribute to the family dynamic. I know that when I didn’t get eggs for my grandma, we didn’t have eggs for breakfast when we ran out. Same for dinner. If I didn’t pick the veggies, not veggies for dinner – which wasn’t a bad thing as a kid. Of course, I’d hear about it from my Grandma for a week, and no cookies! Probably what contributed to my diabetes too. Love through sugar…

So, I’m not loving my Dell XPS laptop keyboard. It’s probably the worse keyboard I have ever used. Constantly inserting letters and numbers that I have to go back and correct. And for God’s sake, CHANGE THE CAPS LOCK POSITION! It’s right above the shift key, so I’m consistently hitting it. Once we get the house built, I’ll go back to my other computer. You know, Wendy and I seem to be saying that alot… “Once the house is built” or “I can’t wait to get into the house and…” I wonder if that implies we are really anxious to get our house build or that we have a limited amount of time before we kill each other? Hmmm, only time will tell. If the Blog entries stop, anyone reading this should call the police!!

Alright, just finished breakfast (Chorizo and eggs), had two cups of coffee (one decaf) and a cup of tea. Need to get dressed and start my day, again. To anyone reading this, have a great day and enjoy every moment because they only come once.

Take care!

Gary’s Post: Another Superbowl Sunday. Frankly I’m not excited about this game (nor many games in the NFL). I guess NFL football has become boring and routine. I’m a lukewarm Seahawks fan, but that’s because they can’t seem to win when it counts. I used to prefer college football until the inception of NIL and the transfer portal. College football isn’t much different than the NFL now.

Yesterday was interesting. We tried for passport pictures, but this being a small town, you need an appointment at the UPS store. And Walgrens didn’t have a person who could shoot the pictures, so I think I’ll head toward the “big city”, Albuquerque, next week and get them done there. We spent the day rearranging the workshop boxes so that Wendy had access to clothes she needed for work. Not sure that was a good idea. Now we have more stuff in the trailer and can hardly move…. sigh. Actually, we moved a lot of Jaret’s stuff (my youngest) to a paid storage location down the road. Still more work to do, but it’s better.

Just checked the waste tank levels. I definitely need to get focused on getting a sanitary water hydrant installed and a wastewater holding tank installed. Having to empty the wastewater tanks and haul them to a dump site every 4 days is a GIANT pain in the arse. I need to make the routine maintenance and cleaning of this trailer more convenient. Someday, when there’s not a million other things to do, we’ll actually clean the trailer. New Mexico is famous for having dust everywhere. You get used to living with a fine layer of dust covering everything. Builds strong immune systems or increases your investment in Kleenex. For me with so much other stuff to get done, the maintenance and cleaning needs to be simpler and faster. Worth the investment in my mind.

Today will be busy. In laws are griping about now seeing us, but we have so much to do to be settled. I’m thankful that we have the means to get things done. Of course, we need to hit the grocery store (there are only two here) to fill in with dairy and fruit. This egg shortage is crazy. It’s hard to think about an egg shortage when all your neighbors have chickens. Wendy is not going to let me get chickens because she thinks her cousins will supply us with the eggs – which isn’t going to happen. And her brother can’t manage the chickens when we’re not here as he’s not mobile enough. Of course, you can’t find any baby chicks this time of year to raise chickens anyway. So, we’ll keep paying $10/dozen.

Off to start our Superbowl Sunday! Wendy and I need a break from all the work. I’m sure tomorrow our bodies will pay us back for yesterday! Enjoy the day and remember to be thankful for everyone and everything in your life.

Gary’s post: Finally, a weekend morning that isn’t packed with “to-do’s” and we can get at organizing the workshop from the mover’s delivery. Yesterday I got my temp New Mexico Driver’s License. It went pretty smoothly. The only hangup was my social security number – my W2 had it X’d out so I had to go to the SSN site and download a 1099. Crazy how much security we now have to use to get to our personal information. Freaking scam artists, we need to just eliminate them from the earth. They serve no purpose. Alright, I’m sure I’ll fry in hell for that comment. Anyway – I now have a temp (paper) NM license with my original NM license number from 20 years ago. Next up – titling the truck. I kinda hate to do that as I just did the renewal in Washington in December.

In a better place today. I think the impact of selling our Renton house was emotionally draining. Lots of life in those 8 years that were big emotional and life changes. Losing my brother to alcoholism, then my Mom two weeks later – leaves me the last man standing from my original family. Passing of two generations. And the introduction of my grandkids Luke and Maddie – two awesome amazing human beings that I love more than life. My son becoming a Dad (hysterical transition that I’ll blog about later), my daughter bailing from an abusive marriage and relationship and her recovery into an amazing human being and my youngest also baling from an abusive relationship, recovering from PTSD and trying to find himself is a complex, divisive world in a state (Washington) that doesn’t support veterans at all. Looking back, it was eventful 8 years that changed a lot of my perspective about my life journey. One quote that I’m starting to accept – “Every life ends.” Coming to terms with that, can be overwhelming and induce panic as you start to approach the end of your journey.

Back to reality and our chapter. Went to dinner last night at Katrina’s again. Good food, but they still need to work on ticket times and getting food out to diners more quickly. The place was packed, which is good, but we were there for an hour and a half. I’m learning two things about this small town. First, don’t go out to dinner after 6:00pm and expect to walk in and sit down. Second, patience. No matter when you go out to eat, you’re going to have a wait. Hard to have patience when you’re starving – but it’s character building.

So today is about get slowing down and getting some basic items completed. Going to get new passport pictures so I can renew my passport. Need to finish up the change out of the 50-amp plug-in, just add a screw. Then start the war against the insects and weeds. It’s been so warm during the day that the spiders and horse flys are starting to come out. I’m hoping next week’s cold spell will kill them off. I noticed that every morning there is a black cat that leaves our property and goes down the drive. Wondering if it’s feral or not. I think it lives under my wife’s cousin’s shipping container that’s on the back of our property.

House. So, our GC has been sick. Things have slowed a bit. CID had some silly questions about our application so she’s working on those so we can get our CID permit. The surveyor who’s pinning the corners hasn’t got here yet, but that’s scheduled for next Saturday. Once that’s done, then we start the dirt work. I’ll get the deposit for the panels done next week. AND my current favorite task, replacing the stupid gate, will start next Wednesday!! Can’t wait. I need to get my father-in-law’s tractor and start leveling the area around the trailer. I want to order about 4 truckloads of crushed gravel to spread where we park cars and drive. And I’ll create a small gravel area for us to sit, Harp to do his business so I’m not pickup up after him everywhere…..

Alright, enough for today. Need to get Harp feed. Feed myself and get start on the day. Take care everyone and have a great day!